The morning was usually I was cleaning up- and doing dishes as the girls played with toys right by me in our connecting living room. Russ was at work since it was a busy day in the truck business. Then all of a sudden I hear a high pitch curdling scream followed by a cry I have never heard out of Londyn. It gave me chills down to my insides, the sound of death. I turn to see blood literally gushing, GUSHING uncontrollably out of her mouth and nose. I scramble to grab her and figure out what on earth could have caused all this damage... and the ONLY thing by her was a pink plastic flute/recorder of Ava's. And I knew it the pit of my stomach what had happened....
Londyn had been sucking on the flute while walking- which she is still wobbly and not very steady. She somehow fell and the flute gashed into her throat and mouth ripping and causing lots of damage.
I grab Londyn as blood is going EVERYWHERE, and run into the bathroom to grab something to catch it with. Ava sees the blood and then she starts to panic, and cry. She kept crying out "what is wrong with her" My mind was racing and i knew I had to keep calm. I firmly tell Ava Londyn fell and I need her help, don't cry, you are the big sister. I need you.
And she stopped ( which is not easy for her) and she ran upstairs to grab her blankey to share and comfort her little sis. In that moment Ava had to strength to act much older then a 4 year old, she was my support and just what I needed.
I call my mom, at this point Londyn is still screaming uncontrollably, I am so lucky my parents live just 5 minutes away. She needed no explanation only that I needed her and she was on her way. I decided to put baby L in the bath to clean all the blood and calm her down, she loves bath time and that is all I could think to do. So I put her in. As I wash her, she is still screaming but now without all the blood coming out I see the damage in her mouth, with every cry that she opens her mouth- her tongue has a 2 inch rip from front to back, the roof of her mouth is back and blue with rips side to side. She would stop stop crying for a minute, then she would start up again. I could tell the pain was just unbearable.
Before she was even out of the tub my mom arrived. Seriously I can't even begin to describe how incredably grateful and blessed I am to have her in my life. At this moment when I was having my own struggles as a mom, all I wanted was comfort from my own mother. It doesn't matter how old I get I will never outgrow that.
So my mom distracts Ava, I take Londee out of the tub and she hugs me, naked and wrapped in her pink towel... there we are, she is holding onto me like her life depended on it, like she never wanted to let go.
And for the first time, no tears, no screaming.
She was finally consolable.
As I stood there in the bathroom hugging her I thought maybe, just maybe it would be okay.
Maybe i didn't need to go to the hospital.
I grab by cell to call her pediatrician. They answer as the after hours clinic. My heart sank, I wanted to talk to her actual nurse not some random that doesn't care or know her. As I talk to her she tells me the next opening they have isn't until 5 pm. Its about 12 noon at this point. Londyn has stopped bleeding and cries off and on. I wanted to justify that she would be okay but I knew that no matter what the cost her health and comfort is more important. The nurse asked her name and then put me on hold. She came back on the line...
" Dr Cornish just happened to stop by this morning (my girls Pediatrician) and if you come right now he will see her"
Seriously?? What a miracle... I don't know how that happened what changed. How did he know? He wasn't suppose to be there at all since he was heading out with his family, but he chose to see Londyn instead of leave. He didn't have to. He is so amazing. The BEST pediatrician!!!
So I grab our stuff and head out the door. My mom takes Ava with her. I grab this little toy kitty that Londyn loves and jump in the car.
As I am driving, I call Russell. It had been so dramatic this was the first time I had even talked to him. Of course he is just as worried as me. He tells me whatever it costs he wants her to be okay. So I am driving, she is crying hard off and on. I am praying my little heart out that everything with be okay.
Finally we get there, the dr is about 15/ 20 min drive. I rush inside, by this point Londyn was asleep. She had passed out on the drive over. She seemed so peaceful... but I knew she wouldn't be for long.
They take us back to the room, ask me details of what happened, the timeline, loss of blood. I carefully told them everything. I even brought the toy she had fell on to show them.
Next up...
look at the damage...
I take her out of the stroller lay her blanket down on the op table. We have 2 nurses plus the doctor to all hold her steady so he can check it out.
Screaming, more crying... I couldn't even look her in the face, it gave me chills, I couldn't even begin to imagine what she was feeling, her pain. Her little hand sqeezing my finger the whole time.
Dr. Cornish was quick, he assessed the damage and was done. I picked her up, held her close as she snuggled and cried.
THe next part... he looks at me and says, "Let me explain to you what I saw" I could feel the tears welling up behind my eyes, my whole body started to shake, I knew what he was going to tell me was bad news. He is a very honest man and not one to overdramatize anything. I had NEVER in all the years I have been seeing him with my girls seen this reaction out of him. He looked very worried, but yet calm.
He needed to be... I was not.
He opens his own mouth as an example and carefully tells me... The back of her mouth, near the curve by her toncilies there was a 2 inch hole, and very deep rip. As he is telling me all the damage, I lost it. I had been so strong for her all morning and now I couldn't be, the tears were pouring out of my eyes as I stood there silently listening. I honestly don't remember most of what was said. Its a blur.
"Your daughter is going to need stitches.. Its much to deep to heal on its own. I am going to call the ENT specialist to come down to our office and take a look at her so you don't have to bother going to the ER first. But he will need to put her under so she won't be in any more pain for the stitches."
I was falling apart. I am not one to cry in public, I try to hide emotion. But in that moment I was so sad, so overwhelmed and scared for my sweet baby I couldn't stop crying no matter how hard I tried.
Dr. Cornish continues, "The damage is severe but I am 100% confidant she will heal with no long term issues. But we need to move quick on this." I told him I wanted my husband here for the surgery. He leaves the room and I call my husband. Obviously crying thee whole time, he didn't even know what I was saying. He had already left his work so by the time I called he was close.
My husband arrived, rushed into the room and holds sweet baby. At this point I thought we were headed for the Operating Room. Then would have to sedate her for the stitches and it was going to be a rough procedure because of where the cut was. I start praying and asking family and friends for their prayers. I was frightened, this whole thing was so scary. I don't want her to have to go through all this pain. We waited about 30 minutes and then the ENT (ear, nose, throat) specialist arrived.
First of all let me say, this never happens, the specialist came to US, at our pediatrician office, we skipped the hospital all together. Second of all it was a holiday and he was off duty when he came to us. As I am reflecting back on this all I can''t believe how everything worked out for us. Prayers were truly answered.
Now with the ENT there it was his turn to check her out, I was dreading this part...
More tears, more screaming out in pain from poor little wounded Londyn. I couldn't even look at her. Russell and the nurses held her down this time. I couldn't even touch her, to feel her small trembling body pressed down on the exam table. I started sobbing again...
No, stop Laura, I can't cry. I have to keep it together. Dr. Cornish start discussing what they are seeing in her mouth, the options, what do they do. The exam ends. Now Russell holds her to calm her screaming.
I stand there watching the 2 doctors discuss what is happening, what they saw. I try to make since of it, but my mind is mush, so many emotions I don't understand anything. Their faces are serious, not promiceing. I am standing there in a constant prayer, begging, pleading for a miracle,, just one more, please.
Then the ENT looks at me. Explains that the tear in the back of her throat is very deep but.... due to the location he thinks stiches can be avoided. He expains that often he has patients come in with an absess full of puss that builds on their tonciles. He then has to cut in that location to release that puss. So amazingingly the location of Londyns tear was in that EXACT location. If it were over to either side we would have had to proceed with surgery and stictches. He said it was deeper than a cut he would do but he knows due to the location that it would heal, by itself. He stressed the severe, intense pain she would be experienceing during healing time. They instructed only a liquid diet and nothing acidic. Perscribed anibiotics to make fure she didn't get any infection. They gave us extreamly strong pain meds for her.
Prayers were truely answered. No stiches, no surgery. I was so grateful. Of course it wasn't going to be smooth sailing, there was still alot of hard days ahead but at least I knew she would be okay.
She fell asleep on the drive home, slept for a few hours, then woke up around 5, crying and in pain. I gave her the narcotic meds. I was a little worried how she would react to them. But she finally was herself. Happy, silly and for the first time all day she took her bottle.
These photos are all from that night, and we finally knew it would be okay.. and after she was on some pain meds!
This is my fav picture. I feel like heaven was opening up and shining on us...
There is nothing I wouldn't do for my little Londee or my Ava.
Londyn and the little kitty that she hugged on through all the drama.
I just want to thank everyone who prayed and reached out supporting our family during this tough day. It meant so much to see all the kind comments coming from friends and family on social media and through phone calls. I am so lucky to have such incredible people surrounding our family.
